Discovering My True Identity in Christ: A Journey of Recovery and Personal Growth
Join our Executive Director, Robert Heffle, in his interview with Bev, who candidly shares her amazing, transformative journey.
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Part 1: If you knew me in my drinking days, I APOLOGIZE
“Do not look at wine when it sparkles in the cup and goes down smoothly. In the end it bites like a serpent and stings like an adder”
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If you knew me and my drinking days, I apologize.
I'd like to re-introduce myself. My name is Beverly Heyano, and I'm originally from Dillingham, been in Anchorage for 27 years.
My Yupik name is Tanqik (brightness), which was given to me when I first started my journey of recovery, 27 years ago.
Going through the educational system, I was a straight F student. I lived in a lot of fear and shame. Fear that people would find out how stupid I was.
And then I started reading the Bible. I read the Bible now for the last 27 years, but I'm learning my identity in Christ. In God.
What it has told me was God knew me in my mother's womb. He talked to me. He wove me together and he brought me forth. How special is that?
And then I learned that I'm wonderfully and fearfully made. God loves me so much. He showed me this identity and then he showed me that I'm a child of the most high God.
He showed me that I'm a peculiar person and I love that because I don't want to fit into this world that tells people there nothing and nobody anymore. I want to be that peculiar person that says you are somebody. God said so.
Learning to see who I am in Christ.
Part 2: What you can do if you feel you don’t have value.
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
If someone was watching this, and maybe they're discouraged by thinking they're not smart, or they don't have value, or they're confused or they're struggling in addiction, what words would you have to say to them?
I would say first to stop believing the lie.
But you need something that counteracts a lie.
For me, it's reading God's word.
What does God tell me? And you don't have to read through the whole scriptures. I encourage that. But there's all these little books like God's Promises books and Bible verse books, where you see what God has to say about you. That God created you to impact your world in a positive way and how can you impact your world in a positive way when you don't really know who you are in God, in Christ?
So I would really encourage that. Learn through the scriptures, learn through other believers, that have been on the journey for a while.
Part 3: How God, more than treatment helped me as an alcoholic
“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
How has God changed you?
Oh my gosh. I was alcoholic from the age of 10 until I was 38.
I took my first drink at the age of 10. I was off and running. I loved alcohol. Alcohol did for me what I couldn't do for myself, and that was to feel good about myself. Alcohol took all those old messages of how stupid, and you know how dumb I was. I used alcohol as a social lubricant. I used alcohol to help me feel better about myself.
And it worked for me for a long time. And then it stopped because I became physically addicted. I could not stop. At the end of my drinking when I picked up a drink, I never knew how long it was gonna last. Where I was going to end up, who I was going to end up with, and most of it was in blackout, and that's a pretty scary place to be.
I knew at the end of my drinking that something had to change because I knew it wasn't gonna get any better than that. And I got sobered up through a treatment center. But while I was in treatment, I did a Bible study called Lord Heal My Hurts, Cuz I knew I was hurting and I knew I didn't want to use alcohol anymore to cover up all that shame and all that guilt of stuff I had done in my drinking.
So I did that study, and that was the beginning of my change. It wasn't so much about treatment, it was about making that connection with God and knowing that he could heal my hurts, so I could be free from that, so I wouldn't have to use alcohol.
Part 4: All my 28 years of being a drunk, I never stopped praying
“The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.”
What words of encouragement do you have for someone who's maybe hasn't been into church for a while, maybe they're a new Christian? What's the word of wisdom of someone who's walked a journey with Christ for a number of years? What would you like to share?
Never stop praying. All my 28 years of being a drunk, I never stopped praying.
I gave my heart to Jesus when I was like four or five years old. I remember that. And even though I did all the stuff that alcoholics do, a liar, a cheater, a thief, adulterous woman, all those things I did, but I never stopped believing and I never stopped praying.
I know that it was God that brought me into my recovery, but I also know he allowed me to drink for those 28 years, cuz now I have 28 years of alcohol research and so I go back and I use all the years that I drank , to speak to other people that are where I used to be and that there is hope and you can, with the help of God, overcome those addictions and start walking in a new life.
Takes a lot of work and it's not easy. And sometimes it's just really painful. I don't suggest doing it alone. I stayed away from church for a long time, I had some harm done by church people and just recently I'm going back, but I'm going back not only to see what I can hear, but to see what I can bring to the fellowship.
Part 5: How to start a journey towards recovery
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.”
What would you say to a person who knew you during the years that you drank? And now, it sounds like there's a new you. What would you say to them?
I just read something recently. It says, If you knew me in my drinking days, I apologize.
I'd like to reintroduce myself as a sober person.
As we go through the change, it takes our family, it takes our friends awhile to adjust to our changes and a lot of times family members or friends will try to sabotage our recovery, and that's why it's really important to find people that are on the journey already to hang with.
They're strange at first. I never hung out with sober people in my drinking days. I always thought they were weird. But now I'm the weird person and I've learned to love sober people and what they have to offer.
So don't be afraid. There's lots of scary stuff in the beginning, hang on to those that have been on the journey.
You can help us help Native Americans and Alaska Natives like Bev — by transforming and healing hearts, minds, bodies and souls through Christ’s love and the power of the Holy Spirit — with a donation today.
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